Day One - The difficulty to clear ones mind

Day One

as instructed by The Lady Ezada i started the worship ritual by taking a shower. i made sure i used the shower to clean, and not to enjoy a warm comfortable shower. i kept it luke warm, used a bar of soap on my body, in stead of the normal shower gel. All this to get aware of the intention of the shower. To clean yourself because you are about to worship The Goddess.

i have not been able to do all this without getting arroused. The knowlegde that the ritual was to prepare myself for Worship made me even less prepared. The focus went from the preperation to the arrousement. i had to take a walk outside to clear my mind. Even then, i had difficulty to not harden up during the entire ritual. It seems that my parts are still being controlled by my own mind and fantasies. i feel a quite guilty about this....

Kneeling down and opening my ipad with a picture of The Lady Ezada made it even more difficult not to focus on my own arrousal. The Lady Ezada is so utterly stunning, and Her in high red soled and toeless shoes, Her perfect body in a perfectly fitted red dress.... It's just very, very hard...

It's strange to see that 5 minutes actually take a lot longer then i thought. It's been great to able to get back down two times and worship a bit longer. The focus on the clock distracts. That's for sure.

The Mantra that The Divine Lady Ezada provided is amazing. It is medetative and a delight to say. 5 minutes was however not really long enough to feel the words. But, small steps, right?

It has been a privilege and Honor to be able to worship The Lady Ezada using the ritual handed down by Herself. Thank You soo much.

I think tomorrow i'll try to start the ritual after a walk outside. Maybe i can then start with less tention.

ayni'or