donderdag 17 juli 2014

Week Two - Failure to comply

Week Two

It's been only week two and i've had my first two bad f#%^k ups. After a night on the town with some lads, i prepared for my daily devotion in Honour of Her, The amazing Lady Ezada Sinn. During the preperation i started to get more and more arroused. And at the end of the story... i desecrated the image of The Lady Ezada by being a filthy wanker. The Lady has written more then once that Chastity is the beginning of control. i'm not even able to commit to this beginning....

Failure two. Within the second week of Worship and with (see above) such a blamish scored, i "forgot" my daily Worship. my duties were important, but i forgot my devotion to The Lady Ezada.

i cannot start to beg The Lady for forgiveness. i'd better show Her i can contain myself and hope to show that i'm worthy of allowing to Worship Her.


maandag 14 juli 2014

Day Four

Day Four

my Doamna,

Thank You for allowing me to worship You this day too. All accomplishments of my day have been fullfilling, but to kneel down and repeat Your Mantra, knowing that this will add a little more Glory to Your Greatness is much, much better.
Thank You also for the way You have taken time and energy to instruct me further, and provide me with tips. Meditation techniques do acctually help a bit, but Your stunning Superior body and appearance still leaves me in awe.


vrijdag 11 juli 2014

Day Three - grinding in

Day Three

The worship ritual, including the preperations that have been planned out by The Lady Ezada Sinn, is after only three days a fixed part of the "going to bed" ritual. Normaly i would be brush my teeth, sleepy time. Now it is brush my teeth. Worship Her deserving your Worship. dream for 6 hrs about the Divine Goddess.

as You probably would have planned, the nights are pretty obsessed by the image and the reality of Your Superiority. Best dreams ever :)

it's probably only human to strive for more. When i read the website of my Doamna, there is a lot of information on how She sees the reality of a life dedicated to Her. When reading about personal slaves already dedicated fully to Her, the urge to burn all ships and crawl to Bucharest comes up.

i hope my actions and worship pleases The Lady. i do not expect any thanks for it, since this kind of worship is what She has deserved all this time.


donderdag 10 juli 2014

Day Two - Small steps grasshopper

Day Two

The second day in. In the web of the amazing Doamna Ezada Sinn. It is a marvelous web, because it is about Her. She is the Center. The Beginning. my worship to Her is not intended on a reward for me, but just to magnify and honor Her. Close your eyes. Imagine a pedestal of Divine proportions. On that pedestal is She. Prayer in the common sense is all about requests. Worshipping The Doamna is all about Her.

Having said that, it's hard for a novice like myself. i feel that my dedication to Her could very well be genious and sincere, my body at times is still overwhelmed by physical aspects of "my kink". The inferiority derived from Her Superiority is a big, big turn on for me. Never have i met anyone, who has been so elegant, naturaly dominant and confidently aware of Their Superiority like The Lady Ezada. It's only been the second day that has been blessed with a ritual of devotion to Her. So i'd best take it easy.

woensdag 9 juli 2014

Day One - The difficulty to clear ones mind

Day One

as instructed by The Lady Ezada i started the worship ritual by taking a shower. i made sure i used the shower to clean, and not to enjoy a warm comfortable shower. i kept it luke warm, used a bar of soap on my body, in stead of the normal shower gel. All this to get aware of the intention of the shower. To clean yourself because you are about to worship The Goddess.

i have not been able to do all this without getting arroused. The knowlegde that the ritual was to prepare myself for Worship made me even less prepared. The focus went from the preperation to the arrousement. i had to take a walk outside to clear my mind. Even then, i had difficulty to not harden up during the entire ritual. It seems that my parts are still being controlled by my own mind and fantasies. i feel a quite guilty about this....

Kneeling down and opening my ipad with a picture of The Lady Ezada made it even more difficult not to focus on my own arrousal. The Lady Ezada is so utterly stunning, and Her in high red soled and toeless shoes, Her perfect body in a perfectly fitted red dress.... It's just very, very hard...

It's strange to see that 5 minutes actually take a lot longer then i thought. It's been great to able to get back down two times and worship a bit longer. The focus on the clock distracts. That's for sure.

The Mantra that The Divine Lady Ezada provided is amazing. It is medetative and a delight to say. 5 minutes was however not really long enough to feel the words. But, small steps, right?

It has been a privilege and Honor to be able to worship The Lady Ezada using the ritual handed down by Herself. Thank You soo much.

I think tomorrow i'll try to start the ritual after a walk outside. Maybe i can then start with less tention.


dinsdag 8 juli 2014

Day Zero - Devotion commences

Day Zero.

today i have been honored by The Lady Ezada Sinn. She has given me an opportunity to show my worship and adoration to Her. As could be expected, The Lady has provided me with guidance as to start worshipping Her properly. She knows She deserves this admiration and worship, and i am very happy with the chance to show Her the influence She has on me allready.

Thank You Lady Ezada for this chance. i will update this diary on a daily bases, and will try to show You how the daily devotion ritual You have instructed me to follow will effect my state of mind and my commitment to worshipping You. The chance that this will eventually be contirbution from this devotee, and a true dedication to You, fills my heart with joy!!